The role of fathers - discussion

flippyflops said:
I have seen quite a few comments/talks about the mothers in Takopi, criticizing and viewing them in a very negative manner. Yes I 100% agree that both the mothers are neglectful, abusive etc. But I don't see the same energy being directed/discussed about the fathers who had equal if not more part into the misery of their children. This is NOT supposed to be a gender war, just discussing a topic that isn't really being talked about and should be.

We can start with Shizuka's father, He was not present in her life after the divorce with her mother, being unable to take the responsibility of being a father he had simply left Shizuka with her mother and was basically M.I.A for her childhood and her suffering. Shizuka's mother is an escort, and with that comes social stigma which we evidently see, this inevitably will also impact the child of an escort (Not saying all adult workers are bad parents, but the stigma of being an adult worker will affect a child). Knowing this the father still left Shizuka in her custody. We then see his true colours through the obvious scene when Shizuka visits him, further reinforcing that he isn't able to take responsibility of his own child.

The next is Marina's father, arguably the root cause for this family's turmoil. We see Marina's relationship with her parents during her early childhood days were filled with joy and glee. This however turns south when he starts having an affair with Shizuka's mother (which is not her fault/responsibility for his actions). Marina's mother's mental health deteriorates from this ordeal and thus begins her abuse towards Marina. At the end of the day Marina's mother is still a victim, caught in a power and financial struggle with a man who is also emotionally abusive and manipulative. (Still doesn't justify the mother's actions)

This all plays into the main theme of the story, about parenting and the effects on children. how parental figures shape who you are whether they are physically present or not. But seems not everyone had noticed the important impacts the fathers made in this story. Which is why I decided to make a discussion about it, and how we should always take a step back and look at the bigger picture instead of pinpointing the blame to solely the mothers.

Let me know what you guys think, opinions, thoughts, agree/disagree etc!
P.S I did not read the manga, so no clue if there are different events/details not shown in the anime, if there is more in the manga bout this topic would love to hear it!

Piromysl said:
Shizuka's father is a strong contender for the tithe of THE worst anime father.
Completely disowning her and even letting her roam streets of Tokyo without any shelter is completely inexcusable.

Piromysl said:
Shizuka's father is a strong contender for the tithe of THE worst anime father.
Completely disowning her and even letting her roam streets of Tokyo without any shelter is completely inexcusable.

Dianthus said:
To be fair, the fathers are barely shown. I think that’s the point, absent fathers have a terrible impact on children.

flippyflops said:
I have seen quite a few comments/talks about the mothers in Takopi, criticizing and viewing them in a very negative manner. Yes I 100% agree that both the mothers are neglectful, abusive etc. But I don't see the same energy being directed/discussed about the fathers who had equal if not more part into the misery of their children. This is NOT supposed to be a gender war, just discussing a topic that isn't really being talked about and should be

flippyflops said:
The next is Marina's father, arguably the root cause for this family's turmoil. We see Marina's relationship with her parents during her early childhood days were filled with joy and glee. This however turns south when he starts having an affair with Shizuka's mother (which is not her fault/responsibility for his actions). Marina's mother's mental health deteriorates from this ordeal and thus begins her abuse towards Marina. At the end of the day Marina's mother is still a victim, caught in a power and financial struggle with a man who is also emotionally abusive and manipulative. (Still doesn't justify the mother's actions)

DigiCat said:
@zeyrox1109 As someone who has lived with an abusive parent, i can say 100% this show is unfortunately very realistic and not an exagerated portayal

Rare? Yes, but rare is still too often

DigiCat said:
@zeyrox1109 I meant i have lived thru most of what goes on on screen and know people who've lived other parts of it too!

The fact you seem to've gotten lucky and been far away from any situation remotely similar to them does not make it unrealistic. Seriously how sheltered and spoilt do you need to be to even think that??

DigiCat said:
@zeyrox1109 Do you even hear yourself?

Again, the fact you seem to've gotten lucky and been far away from any situation remotely similar to them does not make it unrealistic, quit assuming "thigs can't possibly be that bad" "it only makes sense in areas with poverty"

And thank fuck these situations are in the minority, that does not mean they don't happen!

DigiCat said:
@zeyrox1109 I'm sorry you've been thru that situation

I still don't see how it's generalizing or making it seem common, the story follow 3 families out of the whole town, with the rest of the inhabitants seeming relitively normal, granted the police and teachers don't do much, but that is surprisingly common in small towns (add to Shizuka's case the prejudice of her mom being an escort), they tend to have a mentality of "don't interfear in family affairs", and yes, it sucks

The anime does have flaws, but i don't think they lay in the realism of it

zeyrox1109 said:
i know the intentions of this anime themes but it's kinda unrealistic or rather very rare for people to have these situations irl. like no moms will go insane and threaten their child with a glass bottle like marina mom just because her husband like pretty women, irl it would escalate in a more difficult way. kuze mom and dad do exist but i don't think it's that common. Azuma mom is the most realistic so far but it's a little bit exaggerated, like it's very rare to even be highly disappointed of your child if they get 93-98 points, like that is still pretty high and he would 100% still inherit their hospital if he still keep up that score.

Blk_Nerdy_Witch said:

Oh you sweet summer child. You have no idea how bad the real world can get. An example, a few years ago I read a story about a four year old who died at the hands of her own mother and grandmother. How? They left an open bottle whiskey laying around and she took a sip. When caught doing it the grandmother then forced her to drink the rest—more than half of a full bottle. Her name was China Record, from Louisiana. Her mother sat by and watched, btw. Or how about six year old Corey Gregor who was forced to run on a treadmill by his father for so long and so intensely that it literally killed him. Talk to any Child Protective Services agent. You’ll see just how realistic the depictions of these are parents are, and, more sickeningly, how common they are too.

Every child deserves a parent. Not every parent deserves a child.

DigiCat said:
@zeyrox1109 Honestly, i think the only parents who feel offended by it are the ones who behave like that irl, while sure every piece of media will have people who misinterprete it, i don't see any reason for someone who is not abusive to take offence to an anime that sowcases it without getting weird like glorifying or fethishizing it

DigiCat said:
@zeyrox1109 The guy above you described 2 extream cases, and you are right in saying those are crimes and not your avarage family drama, i repeat again, that does not make them any less real than your avarage family drama

Takopi is not a perfect anime, but calling it unrealistic is like calling The Theory Of Everything about Stephen Hawking unrealistic because geniuses are rare

zeyrox1109 said:
just saying some people like it for the wrong reasons

DigiCat said:

That's actually an intriguing point you make, what are the wrong reasons in your opinion?

Too rare and unrealistic aren't synonimous with eachother though