Having read the novel back in April, I was avoiding this movie because I was scared of how it would bring the cold, hard reality of this story to life. Even knowing what would transpire, I found myself getting lost in each moment leading into both Sakura's wrenching death as well as the awe inspiring message that she left behind.
This was my first Light Novel and the first chance I've had to watch the anime adaptation after reading the LN. I think it largely did the source justice, rife with gorgeous animation and stunningly life-like expressions of the characters (particularly Sakura). The film definitely had a more holistic view of the plot, as the novel is told entirely from Haruki's POV. I can respect the difference, but I'm definitely glad I read the novel first in order to better understand Haruki's thought processes in each scene. His monotone voice worked really well in the film though and he lived up to what I was imagining while reading the LN. The movie definitely enhanced my appreciation of this story as a whole. It helped to fill in the areas where my imagination fell short and reaffirmed what it was that made the novel an immediate favorite.
Overall, I find Pancreas's messages incredibly enriching & inspiring. I was particularly drawn to Sakura's views on life. That it's not fate or coincidence, but our choices that shape who we are and where our lives lead. And that even applies beyond living - as Sakura chose what to leave behind after her passing. That's something that was constantly felt with how assertive & high energy she often was. It made me think on & consider all of the choices she had made in the 17 years that had led to these moments. I adored how the movie included Sakura's life flashing by (even if brief) as a similar feeling of imagining her full life story came to mind during my reading.
I think that's what made Sakura's death so especially brutal for me. It felt like I had finally gotten to know and acknowledge Sakura not just as a character, but an actual person. It was actually during Haruki's realization of his feelings for Sakura that those feelings sank in. And that's why her sudden disappearance felt so incredibly real. That the girl who had so many different quirks & stories to tell was suddenly gone forever. But in that same vein, I think it's also why the message of what she leaves behind is all the more incredible. When it was revealed that she had read Haruki's final text, I had this thought that that must have been the happiest moment of her life. To finally connect her feelings to the person dearest to her and know that they both felt the same way about each other, she must have felt completed by that.
That takes me to the meaning of their names. The film managed to cover for this part really well, especially since the constant "Classmate I get along with-kun" from the novel wasn't exactly going to fly in audible conversations. Haruki's growth is really splendid. He was always dispassionately judging everything from a distance, afraid that using names or having his name used would mean committing to defining his relationships with others. One of the biggest strong suits of his development was how this train of thought betrayed what he needed most to get along with others. His interactions with Sakura helped him to cultivate a desire to bond with others and in return, it was the fruits of that spring tree that brought the cherry blossoms to their full but fleeting flourish.
Honestly my thoughts still feel like a blur & a bit incoherent compared to how I was feeling back in April. I wish I'd made a post then, but watching the film now helped to reaffirm how deeply this story has struck me. The realization that life can end at any moment is driven home so harshly and yet it also makes me realize the urgency in which to cherish the time, bonds & choices that we have left. This especially came at a very personal time of loss for me, so I'm feeling it all the more. Taking after Sakura, I'm going to make the choice to reread the novel and try to better absorb what it means to me.
9/10 (9.5)
Edit: Admittedly there are a couple of things I wish had been present. One was Haruki's "truth" answer about his first crush. The other was his panicked inner thoughts as he read through "Living with Dying", which I felt added vastly more tension to whether or not his feelings got through to Sakura. |