Oh uh... hey there. That’s right, it’s me, Bethesda’s Todd Howard. Look, I know you told me not to come around anymore. I know after you bought Skyrim for the Xbox One, you said you were done. Well at least let me plead my case.
Did you know that Fallout 4 is the perfect game? It’ll have no load times. Yeah did you like that? You can create any character you want. We even generate a baby based on the couple you make. Does that tickle your fancy? No? How about these?
True dynamic soft shadows, radiant AI, real world physics. Go where you want, do whatever you want, dynamic volumetric lighting. All of this is being generated in real time by the game. Over two hundred dungeons all hand crafted. The most ambitious and detailed game world we’ve ever made. It works, it actually works perfectly. We have working very, very hard to create something special. You can play forever.
I know your friends told you to stay away from me, and I know those paid mods? Man I screwed that up. I screwed that up real bad but I promise, I promise I’ve changed.
Look, baby, I was under a lot of stress, okay? I mean, Fallout 3, that had over two hundred endings. We’re probably doing too much and working too hard. Player freedom still remains one of our major goals. We have a responsibility to do this game right. Our artists have painstakingly model over nine thousand objects. Even our dialogue is dynamic. We put a lot of emphasis on making this entertaining. I’m doing all of this for you. Our fans really are the greatest in the world. You're the greatest in the world. That’s why I’ve been working so hard: to bring you the kind of experience that you deserve. Now I gotta go. They are playing my favorite song out there and if I don’t dance, well, then I’ll regret it forever, 'cause when you think of me you think of fun. That’s the Todd Howard guarantee. Here’s my gamer tag. Now you behave yourself.
Who’s laughing now?
*Yes, I was in the chess club.* |
