I just finished and...
WOW!! “Every Time” just blew me away! I never expected I would like your story this much. It really surpassed all my expectations. I really loved it, it is so powerful! And the drama (;_;)
So I thought, maybe I should review it. I’m not good at this but I’ll try it. So first, the good points:
+ Presentation
The first thing I noticed is how easy it is to read. The big font and spaces between paragraphs makes it really easy to devour page after page.
+ Cover
I love it! Did you draw it yourself?
+ Characters
I really liked all of them a lot. Sora is especially amazing. It’s common to have the narrating MC to be a cynical and arrogant boy, so it’s really fresh to see a girl doing it. The dialogue between characters is also good. Judging by the cover, I was not expecting Airi to be the shy type, but I really liked her as well. And that “Wicked Eyes” xDD
+ Narration
Sora’s narration is amazing! She describes everything and every emotion so well. Not overly boring descriptions, they are just right. It really shows Sora’s personality and how she is feeling, as well as what is happening around her.
+ Mystery
The secrets and questions that the story raises since the start make you want to know what comes next. And what really comes next, never really disappoints. It surprises you! The secrets that Airi is hiding and Kyohei’s background, are really well done.
+ Title
Perfect. Really. It fits so well! And I’ve never guessed about its connection to story (even after Sora rants on how she hates alarm clocks) until the story really intends to reveal it, that “thing” that is remembered…
+ Really Feels Like an Anime
This is important to me. I really could see the story flowing as an anime (or manga if you prefer). It’s great that the story is set in Japan and retains some aspects of the Japanese culture, that characters have actually Japanese names (instead of Ann or John), and that honorifics are used well and are relevant to the level of politeness/closeness of the characters. And in the end, “Every Time” is better than most popular anime out there.
+ Story
Last but absolutely not least, the story is so good. The mystery, drama, comedy and the romance feeling that seems like blooming during the whole time, all those combine really well. I was amazed that the plot was so well done. There are no plot holes/mistakes, nothing is left random and everything is well explained. There is no “will power” will solve everything and there are no unbelievably unrealistic moments. Simply fantastic. The ending was absolutely great and dramatic!
Now for the negative aspects (sorry, there are some):
- English Grammar
You have a ton of mistakes xD Especially annoying are the verb conjugations. You mess a lot when to use or not to use the 3rd person and the past/present. If you use Word or something similar, you will be able to see a green/blue underline warning that would help you fix like 80% of the mistakes. There are a few other grammar issues, but in the end, everything is fully understandable. I only had trouble in one or two sentences, but I think I could always understand the message you were trying to convey. But even if the readers can understand everything, it would be important to fix the mistakes. Especially since the story and the narration is so good, it deserved proper grammar. Also, it would have been nice if Ichinose would use a cuter word for “father”, like “dad” or “daddy”.
- Time Flow
While there are no paradoxes and everything is well planned (dates and ages were all well calculated), the flow of the story seems a bit odd. Let try to me explain. It’s not a big problem, but… the story initially develops a lot in the first few days of the new school year and then Kyouhei’s leaving is too soon. Like, it all happens in the first week? Feels somewhat strange. Then months pass. And they restart school in the last week of August? One possibility was to remove the mention of the dates, but I can see they are important. So, maybe adjusting the story so that those first events extend over a longer period would be better. Though, it’s not an easy thing to do now (it would affect the dates later in the story so every change should be made carefully), and anyways, it’s not a very big deal.
- Epilogue
Not sure about the epilogue. The last chapter ended so well, the epilogue is kinda unnecessary. I mean, the Kyohei’s narration and story is relevant (to know the dates and who he marries) and to know if the future can be changed, but not so sure about it. It kind kills the feeling that the grand finale gives in the end.
- No insert illustrations
This novel really deserved a few illustrations. And there would be such good moments to portrait, like the sunflower field or the sunset scene. Still, I know too well how difficult it can be to find an illustrator…
As for the rating… I would give it a 10, however for the lack of illustrations and that minor time flow issue, it means a 9. Oh, but to be fair, the grammar takes another point away, so I’ll end up giving it a 8. Hope you don’t mind. Oh, and a 8 for me is really good (as MAL says, a very good), since I’m used to rate all titles low (I have a lower score average compared to others).
There, got pretty long. I want to thank you for the nice moments you gave me while reading it, I won’t be forgetting Sora and Airi, that’s for sure. |