| So the power was out, and I felt like writing a creepy story. And this is the result! I haven't decided on names yet, so I just used random ones. Please note, this is only the first scene, so there is very little plot development. Also I suck at writing and this is the first draft, so bear with me x) Enjoy! :D |
BobulatedApr 24, 2015 1:56 AM
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| Chapter 1, Scene 1 The metal tracks clatter noisily on the unfinished road base, as Daniel drives along it. “Mark is such an idiot, he must hate me or something,” Daniel mutters, scowling at the dimly lit road ahead of him. “Why else would I get stuck finishing up every day? Hmph.” The words Ajax Construction are barely visible down the side of the machinery as it rumbles along the eerily uninhabited road. “Eh?” Daniel squints into the darkness ahead, his thoughts interrupted. “What the heck!!?” he exclaims, his attention on a tall, dark figure, motionless, standing in the centre of the road ahead. “Sir, this is an active construction site, I’m going to have to ask you to leave!” Daniel shouts, slowing the machine to a halt as he nears the figure, idling the engine so he could be heard. The shadowy figure doesn’t move. “Hey, can ya move please?” Daniel yells, getting increasingly aggravated. Still no answer, the figure’s coat rustling in a sudden stiff breeze, as if in reply. “I said move!!” Daniel at the end of his patience, revs the machinery, lurching forward, straight towards him. The figure turns to one side, head bowed, and looks directly at Daniel out of the corner of one red, glowing eye. Daniel feels a chill run down his spine, and the blood drain from his face. The figure, now moments from colliding with the construction machinery, is quickly surrounded by a dark mist, which seems to drain light and colour from the surrounding area, then suddenly vanishes. The engine of the machine cuts out, bringing itself to a grinding halt. Daniel suddenly realises how alone he was on this deserted road. He freezes in his seat as the cold breeze suddenly surrounds him in its bitter tendrils once again. A cold, dark tone whispers into his ear, “You shouldn’t have done that.” |
Leviathan431Apr 21, 2015 11:26 PM
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| Noooooo I hate cliff hangers... :( It was really good though. Loved the Ajax reference and the tsundere lead! :D |
| I've quit MAL email me at instead. muyaobobwu@gmail.com |
| I need to go look up what Ajax is, I just meant it as a placeholder xD And thanks ^.^ I feel like it needs a little work, but I'm glad you like it :D |
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| Oh, lol. I thought it sounded familiar xD |
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| Haha yea that was just my Computer Science major leaking through. I should try to learn AJAX sometime. On "C" and "A" Throughout history many of the world's greatest and most influential pieces of work that involved two characters, often male, their names would start with C and A. where one was the good character and the other the not so good one. However, also in these cases the two characters are also very close, often directly related Namely the bully the C and the bullied the A |
| I've quit MAL email me at instead. muyaobobwu@gmail.com |
| Chapter 1 Section 2 Two construction workers walk along an unfinished road in the early hours of the morning, the sun just peeking over the horizon. "You'd probably have more money for your mortgage if you didn't spend quite so much on beer." "Yeah, but I'd probably also be insane too." "Ehhh, that's unhealthy." "Hey, wasn't Daniel supposed to put that dozer away last night?" "Yeah, I wonder why he didn't." "Probably just slacking off, or trying to get back at boss for making him work late." "That doesn't sound like him though." "Ah, whatever." One worker climbs into the cab, "Hey John, the keys are still in it and on, but the engine isn't running." "That's weird, where do you think he went, Matt?" John asks with a concerned expression, "Dunno, but boss ain't gonna be happy." Matt replies. "Wait, is that him there?" John points back, towards once side of the road. Matt jumps down beside him, and looks up to see Daniel staggering groggily towards them. "Where were you, what happened?" they ask. "Huh?" Daniel looks up with a blank expression. "What's going on Daniel?" John questions. "Daniel?" Daniel looks puzzled. "Doesn't matter, he needs to move this dozer before boss gets here," cuts in Matt with a curt tone, "Drive this thing back with the rest of them so we can get started." "But.... I don't know how." Daniel now wide-eyed, trying to make sense of everything. "I don't think he does, look at him." John motions towards a dazed looking Daniel. "He's fine," Matt replies, then to Daniel, "just hop up, turn the key, and we'll be out of here." "O-okay," stutters Daniel. He unsteadily climbs the ladder, sits down, and starts the engine. "Eh?" The machine lurches forward, Daniel panics, and lets go of the controls. The machine jolts back to a standstill, Daniel in shock, "How'd I do that?" "Ok, let's get him out of here, he needs a doctor or something." Concludes John. "Fine, let's help him down." Says Matt reluctantly, "I'll take him, you move this before boss sees it and throws a fit." They start off together, Daniel leaning heavily on Matt. "That was weird," John says quietly to himself as he climbs into the cab, "It's like he didn't know how to drive, but he could remember how to." "Now I'm not making sense. I don't know." He mutters as he starts off towards the other end of the road. |
Leviathan431Apr 21, 2015 11:28 PM
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| Chapter 2 "Have a good day at school!" "Yeah Mum!" The door slams shut behind me as I start down the path towards the front gate. "Not really." I mumble to myself. School had always been unpleasant for me, but seemingly more so lately. "Oh well," I thought, "At least this is my last year, then I just have to deal with more jerks when I get a job." "Could be worse, I suppose," I thought as I stared at my shoes, trudging unwillingly along the footpath towards school. The bell rings as I walk through the school gate. "Late as usual, no surprise there." I mutter. I arrive at class several minutes late, the teacher doesn't even acknowledge my entry, and only a few other students greet me with cold stares before returning to their work. "Could be worse..." Later at lunch, I sit by myself, as usual. I don't really know why, but I've always been teased in school, especially lately. Because of that no one wants to be my friend, for fear of being branded for it and cast out just like me. I'd probably do the same if I was in their situation. "Ah, who needs friends anyway. I've never needed them," I think resolutely to myself. Actually, I have had one friend before. I glance over to a table where a group of girls are sitting. "Anne." We basically grew up together, but ever since high school we started growing apart, until finally we stopped talking all together. I don't blame her, really, who'd wanna hang around me anyway. Plus she has her own friends to talk to. My thoughts were interrupted when one of the girls from the table I'd been staring at glanced over and noticed me looking at them. Uh oh, now she's saying something to the rest of the girls. Now they're all looking at me, including Anne! I look away quickly and pretend I was concentrating on something else. Which unfortunately became all too easy, as Corey and his goons show up. Corey was your typical school bully, a big brute of a guy with just enough brains to know he can use that to push other kids around. Lately he'd discovered a fascination with pushing me around. "You're sitting in my spot," he says in his usual, gruff voice. "Isn't that your spot over there?" I reply nonchalantly. "Yes, but today this is my spot," he says with a mean grin on his face. I know he's just looking for an excuse to beat my face in. "That's fine, I was just leaving," I retort, glaring at him. I get up, swing my bag onto my back, and start to walk off. I can feel their eyes looking at me as I walk away, but there's more looking at me too. Oh no, the girls saw the whole thing. I hurry off in embarrassment, as I feel my face go red. Just another day at school. |
Leviathan431Apr 22, 2015 5:47 AM
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| Might change the childhood friend's name yet. Haven't decided x) |
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| Nice work, my friend. Keep it up I wanna see more lol. Also I love Dark Scary eyed figure. Kehehehehehehe |
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| You really did join just to reply didn't you xD |
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| Levi-san, Have you considered other forms of writing? Right now it feels like you're trying to go toward the general web-novel path but I think the style of your writing might work out even better as a script for another medium |
| I've quit MAL email me at instead. muyaobobwu@gmail.com |
| I would honestly LOVE to make an anime, but I would never have the right contacts to do so. I haven't really considered anything in terms of writing, it was only really something I just realised I could do x) |
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| uhhh making an anime is what happens *after* your work gets famous. I was referring to maybe something a bit easier, like a comic/webcomic or even as a script to a play! Since you like to focus on the scenes and the dialogue a lot. |
| I've quit MAL email me at instead. muyaobobwu@gmail.com |
| I know, lol. But I can't draw <,< I've thought of making a script, but I don't know what to make a script for :/ |
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| I think it's worth a shot trying. I mean you don't have to draw something really awesome. My favorite webcomic whom the creator made a couple million off of started off as stick figures. Or you can try making one with a friend who's really good at drawing, just as a side hobby. |
| I've quit MAL email me at instead. muyaobobwu@gmail.com |
| Leviathan431 Want to work together on a story? I have lots of ideas~ |
| A great protagonist once said, "It's only overpowered if you can't return the favor!" |
7starkiller99 said: Leviathan431 Want to work together on a story? I have lots of ideas~ Feel free to turn the thread into a creative writing project. Like one person does a scene and continues the story after the last person leaves off. it's ever funnier when each writer has their own agenda and is trying to follow a different genre and never consults with other writers |
| I've quit MAL email me at instead. muyaobobwu@gmail.com |
| Sure Star-san, feel free to add your ideas ^.^ I might put all my writing in one post so it's easier to read, and is conducive to the continuity of the thread xD |
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| Use names of members form MoeNya as the characters! |
| I've quit MAL email me at instead. muyaobobwu@gmail.com |
Bobulated said: Use names of members form MoeNya as the characters! Lol sounds good to me, so long as I'll be in this manga I'd be happy. You'd need a theme though, like fantasy, mecha, etc. Leviathan431 said: I would honestly LOVE to make an anime, but I would never have the right contacts to do so. I haven't really considered anything in terms of writing, it was only really something I just realised I could do x) I'd love to make an anime too, but if you did make a famous manga, a company may be willing to help make one. ¯_(ツ)_/¯ Who knows till you try :3 |
Ryuu-KitsuneApr 28, 2015 11:51 PM
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