| I will start.... What do you call a fake noodle?...Impasta! So Past, Future, and Present walk into a bar...it was pretty tense. I know I know, just make sure these jokes are as cringy and UnBEARable as possible. Tank you. |
| A man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran. |
 |
| Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road?.....Because he didn't have any guts! Why do ghosts like elevators? It lifts their spirits....:33333 |
Barbarian1Sep 9, 2015 6:25 AM
| Why was the clown fired from work? He was clowning around! |
| I found this book about ANTI-gravity, I just cant put it down! |
Barbarian1Oct 5, 2015 6:34 AM
| For some reason my top keeps falling when I try to spin it, Maybe it's TOP-heavy! |
| I wrote a pun down on a piece of paper...it was TEARABLE |
| I was painting the other day, it could use some BRUSH ups |
| Two peanuts walk into a bar...They were a salted. |
| What do you call the ghost of a chicken? a poltrygeist |
| What do you call a bird that is stuck to your shirt? A velCROW |
| What do you do when your mom takes away your pokemon, you pokemom |
| What do you call a grandfather clock? An old timer. :3333 |
| Civil War jokes? I General Lee don't find them funny ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) |
|
| What do you give to sick birds, a tweetment |
| What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef. |
| What is aqua mans weapon of choice, a sword-fish |
| What do you call a frog with no legs? Unhoppy |
| What did one ocean say to the other, nothing it just waved |
| Why was the divorce so expensive? Because it was worth it. |
| Why is working in a zipper factory chaotic, everything is on the fly |
| You know, I wasn't going to get a brain transplant. Then I changed my mind. |
| There was a person who sent 20 puns to his friends. He was hopping at least ten would make them laugh, no pun in TEN did. |
| Did you hear about the guy who's whole left side was cut off? He is all right now. |
| There was a major storm over by the farm, most of the crops were ok, but the beats got pretty beaten up. |
| I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. |
| I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic, it’s syncing now |
| You know, I used to be a banker...Then I lost interest. |
| How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. |
| I would tell you a chemistry joke, but I don't think I would get the right reaction. |
| A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy. |
| Its not that the man didn't know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it |
| I tried to catch some fog, but I mist |
| So what if I don't know what apocalypse means? It's not the end of the world! |
| This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore. |
| Did you guys hear about the guy who was hit in the head with a soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink. |
| England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. |
| My friend tried to annoy me with some bird puns. Then I realized that toucan play at that game. |
| When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds. |
| Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It is very time consuming |
| When Life let's you down you can always COUNT on a clock |
| Need an Arc to save two of every animal eh? I noah guy |
| We are going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz. |
| I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang. Then it came back to me. |
| There were two ships. One had red paint, one had blue paint. They collided. At last report, the survivors were marooned. |
| Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I am fine...But I think I dyed a little bit inside. |
| Sea captains don’t like crew cuts |
| A bicycle cant stand up on its own because it is two-tired. |
| Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says “Hey get out! We don’t want your type in here!” |
| Police were called to a day care center where the child was resisting a rest. |
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