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- Total Entries105
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All Comments (46) Comments
What a coincidence, I just had pizza hut yesterday. Believe it or not I enjoy the wings more than the pizza to be honest. . . do you order take out a lot? I don't know if I've mentioned this but I literally grew up on fast food sadly, it's another reason why I began exercising when I was young to counteract it. =.=
Yep, really excited!
Well, I hate to be a smartass but uh according to a few pages down *rolls down*
" You have more resemblence with Grimmer from Monster I feel like. Someone who is well spoken, looking for justice and wise but also wants to help others."-Essyn, May 8, 3:58 AM
Maybe you forgot a bit or we're not talking about this in the right context? But yeah that's when you said this ^^
I'm sorry if my words seemed to lower the piece or something! Agh! Could I see a picture of it? :O or is that out of the realms of possiblity atm haha.
True T_T Also, it's confirmed we're getting more than 4 chapters, it seems we're actually getting 10. Cool once again, but still not getting too attached.
I'm a symbolism nut indeed, everything I enjoy even slightly has a lot of value for me and to me UwU And if you don't feel like it, don't get it! It's something you have to be 100% sure of.
Lol yes. Cartman is my baby. I wrote an essay on him once in school and how he's basically a milienial ubermensch because he hates absolutely everyone equally except himself - in that way, he's rather fair and upfront, more so than most politicians lmfao.
What have you been watching lately? I'm enjoying The Dragon Prince and for some reason watched literally every X-men movie in one day... being sick makes you watch some silly things.
Oh god, good times with weapons is so hilarious. “Hey hey let’s go; Kin-Kazu!” I sometimes whistle that song admittedly lmfao.
Yeah, or a polite nothing that doesn’t exist hahaha.
Hmm, you may have a point there as well. Ya know I’ve been thinking about what you said when you said I remind you of Grimmer, maybe there’s more truth there than I thought. ^^’
Ah I don’t think you’re silly at all if you ask me, we just develop certain algorithms to help us with life. I don’t think there’s any shame in that as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else <3
I sure am! These are some of my favorite shows and theories respectively and I love showing my appreciation to them. These are shows that quite literally changed my life and remind me why I got into anime in the first place. But uh, I’m confused - what is this. . . deer thingy lmao?
Yeah it is pretty cool. I’m somewhat excited but being a fan of HxH is like being still attached to an ex you just can’t let go of, you hook up once every few years and it feels kinda fun, then it’s over again HA.
That’s very mature of you if you ask me. A tattoo is a VERY big deal, who knows if you’ll wake up one day and not like them the next? That’s why when I got mine, I knew in my heart I would have to love them, even not for where they’re from specifically but moments in my life I cherished and pieces of art I hold very dear to me. So if/when you do get one, think very hard about it because unless you have tons of money, there’s no going back C__C.
My first tattoo is the kakanata for: “Otoshi-Ko.” It means: “Fallen” or “abandoned child.” It’s a reference to Bloodborne and the thematic messages of the game. Basically Bloodborne somewhat symbolically represents children trying to ascend to the plains of heaven/a mother’s love. Speaking as someone who was abandoned myself by a parent, it spoke quite a lot to me and the ending of the game and culmination of this thoroughline (which I’m not going to spoil) is extremely sweet and touching to me.
The next is just the tattoo/kakanta of: “Beyond Light and Dark”, just a Nietzschean reference to Dark Souls 2 which has similar themes about the nuances of dichotomies and contradictions itself. Basically the end goal of a game is to become a: “True Monarch” and define your own standards and accept yourself. As someone who had a hard time doing so for most of my life, I love this as well.
Yeah, right? I’m convinced the American dollar is just going to crash soon. Works for me. If everyone stopped working for a day the whole nation would fall apart and it’s hilarious to think about lmao.
Indeed It can be a little draining and I miss the simpler plots. =_= Do you have a favorite episode? Mine is where Cartman pretended to be mentally challenged to get into the “special olympics” hahaha.
Speaking of which, I went to a “haunted house” on vacation and had a fun time. I tried calling out to any “spirits’ there but go no response. Ya know, my friend, I think we just got ripped off of our money lmao.
That makes perfect sense, Essyn. And I really appreciate it. You’ve actually made me discover somewhat of a scary, horrifying question to myself - I don’t really have anything I’m not willing to talk about. I wonder what that implies? Does that mean that I have been through so much it just doesn’t harm me? Or does that mean I’m unempathetic? Or something else? Weird thought. O_O . . . I’ll think about that equation later. But thank you once again for your consideration! >:3
. . . ya know what, fair enough haha. Speaking of Eva, I went to an anime store on vacation and they had so much stuff! I ended up getting three posters though lol. One of Shin godzilla. One of FMA 2003. And one of, what do you know - Neon Genesis Evangelion! >:D XD
Damn, that’s crazy. O_O Even that small amount of caffeine? Well, we know from some studies women seem to be far more sensitive from chemicals, hormones, nutrients, etc, but I didn’t think it’d go that far. O-o Uh, do you know that decaf exists, though?
LOL same here. Once my codes break I’m basically out of luck. <_<
I know you haven’t seen it, But Hunter x Hunter is getting four new chapters this year and people are going insane over it. Some have even gotten tattoos lol. Would you ever get a tattoo? I have a few myself.
I love the Matrix but I find the idea that there are just two types of consciousness kinda ignorant on the part of the creator, but it serves the false-dichotomy role in the story...
Hahaha, don't think I didn't catch that reference, my friend. Ya know, I'm convinced my brain is rotted, I had South Park playing in the background on my TV for 5 days straight and I only realized it yesterday. Could you imagine? I was all the way up to season 18 and I started at season 1. . . .
That is really spooky indeed? O.o Like I said I'm not exactly against the idea of ghost because matter does not ever truly go away, but I would like to have a scientific and repeatable, methodical method to verify their existence. Haha, my grandmother used to have this line she said: "I don't believe in ghosts - if there were black slaves would rise like the walking dead and kick every white person's ass" lmao. She's got a point. Plus, there always seems to be at trend of dying with some sort of malice to ressurect you, but the rate of which malice you require is inconsistent and varies. Like, okay, let's say I was in a hurry and wanted to get to work, standing in line at Starbucks, but die of a heart attack from stress because the line wasn't moving fast enough. Do I get to come back from the dead and haunt the very concept of Starbucks because of that? I died with malice and hate, why can't I come back? Sorry, it's just a silly concept to me lmfao.
That makes perfect sense. I'm sorry I asked! >_<
Hmm, you could have a point indeed, I am a much happier and less depressed person than I was before when I was a child, but I fear at times my traits have never gone away but work for me and have been transmuted for a higher purpose and calling - not necassarily that the things negative about me have gone away, but taken a new, and more positive shape. So, admittedly, perhaps my statement is dubious to an extent. Ya know what, I'll actually have to think about this one haha - thank you for letting me rethink one of my core beliefs.
Hmm, well, Evangelion requires historical context in some respect. Without making a giant wall of text - a few things I can think of off the top of my head was that no TV anime, at the time, looked as pretty as it - hell not much still looks as good as it and that's from insanely poingnant art, animation, and methodical storyboarding. A.K.A - it's like an orgasm at the eyes to look at. I also think it's quite a relatable story for otakus - a lot of people say shinji is "realistic", but don't go much into detail about it - and that's because they may not know how to accurately articulate their thoughts, this not not an attack on their character or intelligence, but because it's really hard to explain with a watch or two the appeal of Shinji and Evangelion, especially since it has so many interpretations: My interpretation is that it's a rejection of fantasy and an emotional reliance on others so you can be who you truly are. Evangelion is a fantasy - that's anti-fantasy, this juxtasposition can be confusing and impactful for viewers who may not be able to grip all the subtext at once. Evangelion has so many strong themes, but frankly, it's fanbase, uh. . . may not exactly know how to talk about it without sounding like condescending dicks which is why it's grown such an infamous "elitist" representation. It's a funny dichotomy for sure.
What kind of bad are we talking? Knocks you out or makes you crazy lmfao.
Oh don't worry, I will, and I will not be responding to anyone xD But until then I like sending messages to you lol.
Oh yeah, I don't think I said this before: but your animelist is insanely beautiful. Did you do that yourself?
That’s pretty fair. Do you know about the simulation theory? That we’re all living in a computer or something? Well, I always reply: “If we’re in a simulation, who cares if it feels real enough? O-o” xD Another type of people think we’re being controlled like the sims, but I say that’s just a bootleg philosophy argument over if free-will and if we’re controlled by impulses or causality. I don’t know what these folks are smoking, but I don’t want any of it lmao. Oh, that’s another thing - what’s your stance on drugs? I personally will never ever do one, but I wouldn’t be against a few of them being legal.
Ya know, it astounds me when I have many friends who claim they grew up in a haunted house. My friend, Sadie, told me all sorts of stories of growing up that scare me and she can tell me so many of them - and based on things like how quick her responses are, body language, tonal stress - I can tell she’s not lying and legitimately believes in them too. Like one time she was going into the kitchen to get a snack while her family was in the living room, and in the next doorway was a little girl with her head chopped off. Then another time her cousin was sleeping over, and grim-reaper-esque figures were swarming around her and she begged for them to go somewhere else. And the moment that does have the most credibility because they both experienced it - one time when they were kids her father was making dinner, and her cousin got up and put her hand on the tv - then, as they were watching a scary movie, it was more so an anthology, the skeletal host of the show looked at the cousin and said “Get your hand off the TV!” They ran into the kitchen and told the father, but they said they didn’t hear anything.
Now, the notion of these claims, admittedly, are pretty dubious when broken down logistically. For one, we know that when growing up the mind plays tricks on us because our brain is growing and expanding, different levels of consciousness are arising - furthermore, like, listen, I know kids may not be the brightest but they’re intelligent enough to tell their parents when they’ve seen something. Sadie didn’t tell her parents anything, and I sure as well would if I saw, ya know, a headless girl, grim-reapers, stuff like that. Her cousin is traumatized lightly from the house too, but I’m curious to know what her parents think. Anyway, do you know anyone in your life who’s had “paranormal” experiences? I personally had one myself I’ll tell next reply, but once again, this was when I was a kid - once again, I was growing up and my consciousness was expanding. . .
Well, want to know something funny? They replied yesterday and we watched a movie lmao. It looks like I really was just being paranoid *sigh of relief* Things seem to work out if you give it time haha. But it turns out why they were so busy! They just finished school and can now work towards being a doctor and they’re closer than ever, I’m so proud of them. Anyway, if this is too personal - I know the drill, haha. But I wanted to ask: What are your friends like? Are they from childhood? Do you vibe with them media wise? What’s your friend group story?
Ya know, what you reminded me of reminds me of a scene in Citizen Kane. I’m not sure if you’re familiar, but it’s roughly the story of a politician. One of the most influential and original shots, at the time, in film, is him walking past a mirror, and as the camera pans, it shows 8 different reflections of himself as if he’s existing in alternate universes. Roughly, it’s a metaphor for having to say the “right things” to be accepted by the public and create legitimate change he has to slowly lie and deceive when he legitimately had good intentions at the beginning of the story. I guess what I’m trying to say is: when you change so much, it gets harder and harder to define who “you” are.
Sorry haha, maybe I took the line: “I forgot you had clubs in US” with a hint of suspecting that maybe you all didn’t over there?
Oh, well, that must explain why we vibe so much xD Ya know you can go on giant walls of text with whatever you like too if you ever want, I feel the same way.
You’re more blunt than me? O_O Wow, I was unaware such a person could exist lmao. Why do you say that? You seem pretty tame to me. Is there like, a few events that made you come to this conclusion?
You’re very correct, my friend - it’s just a coping mechanism I created after being hurt so much and feeling so much lost, when in reality it just kinda adds more to how I feel. I say this so casually because we all have our dangerous little habits that act like a tourniquet for us to get by. And honestly, I don’t know how to fix it - how do you get rid of something inscribed on your prefrontal cortex? Could we even change such things? I think I’ve said this before, but I genuinely, do not believe, people can ever change at heart a core of their person, we can just refine and develop it towards different tendencies. Like I said: I openly identify as someone who’s somewhat sadistic to an extent, in the wrong hands, that’s really, really bad - but since I use it for other things, like trying to crush school, learn frame data in games, jiu-jitsu, etc, it’s actually a really good thing.
I suppose this was always going to be my outlook on life, there were hints of it from the time I was a child. Ya know, I was never a fan of Christian/western theology. That you’re inherently evil, touched with sin, and the only way to be free and enter this perfect realm is to do x-y-z, and that God is this perfect figure, and Jesus too. That sounded too simple to me, way too much. I was far more a fan of eastern theology, such as Buddhism and Shinto - I think that’s WAY more human. The Ying and Yang symbol itself is a metaphor for multiple dichotomies, and contradictions that are inherently apart of the human condition - that light can’t exist without darkness, and darkness can’t exist without light - and there is always evil in good things, and good in evil things - the best way you could possibly coexist with the totality of humanity is to exist in, and refine your own contradictions to make the best life you can out of that. Western theology is at its core - roughly End of Evangelion, and that is fucking terrifying.
Now then, to end that rant lmao - lovely friend, we need to get you on that Evangelion train lol. Would you consider watching it?
HEY guess what? I listened to the first four episodes of Trash Taste and I got to say, it wasn’t as bad as I perceived it to be at all! In fact, I think I’m going to be listening to it quite a bit - maybe I’ll download a few episodes for my plane ride soon!
You don’t drink either?! Wow, lucky, you didn’t get addicted to caffeine. . . . my mother said she knew I was going to be a weird kid when Is started drinking black coffee at the age of 13.
Well it’s actually gotten better! Another thing I think sucks is the humidity and my hair growing out, it’s accumulating the moisture and I’m going to have to get it cut soon. But things are getting haha. Maybe I shouldn’t watch too many horror movies before I go to bed too?
I really hope you do give it a shot! They were awesome lol.
I hope this doesn’t sound embarrassing, or weird, or cringy but:
Oh, so you feel similarly about conspiracy theories? I have an interests in them myself, though I believe almost none of them. I have a friend named Gael who told me straight-up he only believes in conspiracy theories and cryptids because life is way more interesting that way. Anyhow, what's a conspiracy theory that just baffles you? I'm still shocked people believe Lizardmen exists. Like, what the hell? Are there any cryptids you believe in at all, or conspiracies? If that's too personal don't worry about it haha.
Funny enough, I was interested in cryptids in another way - I was interested in them and their folklore, but found it more fun to logistically break down why and how they simply could not exist. Take Nessie/Loch Ness Monster for example: Essyn, similar to Megaladon - there is simply nothing wildlife wise that exists in that enviorment that can sustain, ya know.... A GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING PLESIASOUR! Because it evolved into a completely different time period. Furthermore, these creatures are nowhere near immortal, why on earth isn't it a corpse by now we haven't discovered?
And don't get me STARTED on bigfoot. Dear god, the people obsessed with this fake-furry-fluff are going to great lengths as to how they can still exist. Despite having no fecal samples, no hair samples, no foot prints, no signs of existence as if they're anathema denying the laws of physics. I've even heard a few people say these things can burrow underground and that MUST be the reason why. Which, once again, would leave some residue and evidence. But nope! They can magically "poof" out of existence.
Yes, I know the old saying goes: "We're discovering over 100 new species every day", that's true, but what people don't realize is that these new species are often variatons of other creatures, and most of them are basic fish and insects, ya know, small things that you would barely find, not a GIANT! APE!
I think people are obsessed with these things because in many respects they're the last air of fantasy and symbolism in the modern world. We know there is no rain god that makes it rain. We know the symbolism of dragons and why they exist and will continue to exist in our culture. We know most of the fundamental physical laws of our planet. There are very, very, very few things we cannot explain on our planet. I think that's why people still cling onto and enjoy these things and ideas. And that's okay. Because it's fantasy. And you need some fantasy in life. Hell, I love fantasy - at times I think fantasy can tell you more about reality, than reality can. But when people will fight you to death about them existing, eh, it's just tiring to me lmao.
If there's one cryptid or concept I can possibly think existing, it'd more than likely be ghost. I think ghosts may be the most scientifically possible cryptid due to how matter works. Matter never disappears, and we know for a fact nothing truly goes away, it wouldn't exactly be crazy that some of our matter may still have some autonomy enough to where, after our physical body dies, we can in some respect manipulate the world around us - but even then that's just barely an idea, and that bare idea is the closest I could imagine being real. The thing I think is the closest to being real, is invisible - there's some poetry in that, I think.
*Sigh* Apart of me wants to, my friend, but another part of me thinks that's a bit rude on my part and perhaps a biased-perspective-relative-to-media. The TL:DR is: listen, smart phones, and instant messaging are good - but you and I know both know with a bit of thought, I imagine, that it can give you a somewhat biased perspective on interaction. I can send you any message instantly, and you can reply at any time you want. I can do this if you send me a message, and you can too - knowing this, both of us, if the other party doesn't reply in a similar timespan, it can make you think you're being ghosted or some equivalent. But the thing is people have. . . like, things going on with them. Maybe they're not in the state to talk right now to you specifically because your specific interactions require, not more, but a different type of energy they just don't have at the moment. This could sound like desperate compromise, but I try to think about other's perspectives before I come to a rapid conclusion.
I really do hope in your words, Essyn, because for most of my life, well, I just haven't really found a group that I can stay with consistently that share the same passion as me, not passions, mind you, but are just super inquisitive. Well, that's not to imply people who don't fall into the same spectrum of me are worth any less value. I'd say we're quite different people when it comes down to it, but I love talking to you.
Oh, you guys don't have clubs over there? O_O That's. . . curious. . . do people just party? And yeah, I'm excited! I've always been interested in it actually haha.
Actually, this reminds me I need to tell you something weird about myself: I will listen endlessly to a topic I barely even know about if it's presented well, for the weirdest things, for shows I don't even listen to, and games I haven't played, movies I haven't seen, books I haven't read - etc. To this end - a long time ago I listened to almost all the lore to dungeons and dragons and have no idea why lmao. I know almost everything about the setting even though I haven't played it once haha.
Haha I wont overthink what you said. I hope my words didn't sound cold, I would just prefer to be truthful with you than lie. ^^' On a similar notion: don't worry about how long it takes you to reply. Could be a week, month, year, it's chill with me. Can I tell you osmething a little dark about myself? Oh, who am I kidding - you can't reply to this as I type it so I'll just say it: every interaction I have with someone, subconsciously, I almost always assume is my last with them. On some level I think this is another defense mechanism I've developed after being hurt so much, so I can let go easily, but on a brighter side - it makes me appreciate every interaction I have a lot more. <3
Well tell you what - I'll give it a shot later today to try and widen my perspectives! >:D After all when you jog for 3-5 miles a day you have a lot of time to listen to stuff C__C Ya know what, after thinking about it for a bit I think I've got it - I wonder if this sounds odd to you, but I think on some level I don't enjoy listening to podcasts where, if I was apart of it, I would have nothing to contribute to the conversation in the presented format. I think people listen to podcasts on a personal level, at least I do, so when I can't imagine myself in the conversation there's a huge dissonance from reality. Huh. I just figured that out typing this. O_O
I understand *nods* Well, at least I don't have to worry about you talking to me about the latest youtube drama hahaha. Oh, speaking of tea - have you tried boba tea before? Come on, all weebs have to at some point, it's like a right of passage lmao.
I had a series of nightmares which is why I've gotten up and replied so early, tried going back to sleep but it seems like the Sandman was through molesting my psyche that night. But to my surprise I woke up to really good news - four new pictures of the new Silent Hill game currently in the development got leaked - and all the screenshots got taken down with a copyright notice. Know what that means? The game isn't rumored anymore, it's real. I'm so excited!
Although, my nightmares could be from marathoning a horror anthology movie series called: "V/H/S", have you ever heard of it? They're lowkey really something interesting - basically they're a series of movies composed of anthologies that connect to a wider over-arching-plot. They're fun, scary, goofy, suspenful, and remind me a lot of Stephen King's Creepshow. I really recommend them!
Indeed. In fact, I myself got offered to get a booster shot before I go on vacation next Saturday and personally declined. Listen, I'm not a conspiracy theorist, and I think some people very much so need to get this vaccine. But here's the facts - I am the most fit person in my entire town - I eat an insane amount of vitamins daily my doctor recommends, I eat almost perfectly healthy every single day, and I already got covid, after getting the vaccine as well - this means I have antibodies that have been proven time and time again to be more protective long-term than the vaccine shot can give me, the vaccines we have currently were also made using synthesized blood samples from people who got it. Also, there have been a variety of reports showing that young males who are about below the age of 25 risk a significant amount of complications more than women, and men above their age group. The Tl:DR is: I don't feel comfortable getting a booster shot when I have all the necessary ingredients and genetics to successfully fend off a virus that has killed less than 1% of the world's population, and since all my family is double vaccinated, I pose a higher risk towards myself than them. In conclusion: (as the kids say) I'm gucci.
I make no grand illusions of conspiracies myself, but I do find it very, very scary how a select group of people can now say: "without x and y and z, you cannot enter this place". Historically, when someone gains power they will almost never let it go - hell, I'm surprised we finally, relatively recently let go of long-term human slavery. Can you believe that's been a thing since our inception, yet we just got rid of it around, eh, 200 years ago? Scary stuff.
Well, you have a point indeed - then again, there are a very seldom group of people, well not that enjoy what I like, but enjoy them for the same reason. I believe this is why in my younger years and even now I graviated towards video-essays, people who wanted to break down and analyze stuff in insane detail. Fact is most people aren't like that, and maybe that's okay haha. It's somewhat lonely I admit, but I can't self-pity, that gets ya nowhere. However, for a confession - I am a bit troubled a dear friend of mine I watch movies with has seemingly ghosted me in some respect. All of a sudden we just don't anymore recently, and I've made multiple conclusions as to why,it's the end of their semester, of course, they're an introvert, even though we're good friends we're opposites. But when they play league of legends with their friends nightly, I admit to feeling somewhat. . . well, not jealous, but perplexed to some extent.
Awe you're not mean at all, don't worry. I'll find where I fit in eventually. . . eventually C__C
Maybe I'll try my school's dungeons and dragons club. . . but frankly, the vibe seems somewhat elitist. Oh, but that brings me to another surprise!
I recently got invited to join my school's debate team. I'm going to give it a shot! I've always been a very strong logician and have respectable deduction skills, so I'm excited to learn new tricks!
Hey, don't sell yourself short - the thing is, most people don't have common sense these days. By that notion, I'd say you're pretty smart haha. *high fives*
You can indeed call me that! ^_^
What? Oh come on, you gotta stop that lmao. I know there's something you're very good at, you may not even know it. I mean, you got cooking down, right? You also seem to be very private, and I hate to play nature-vs-nurture, but something tells me that's for a reason - that reason may be linked to decent deduction skills about a person and if they're possibly a threat. That's a very good skill. And if you care very much about those who are dear to you, you may have a profound sense of empathy, having a profound sense of empathy with those skills of perception could make you very effective as basic psychology. As for making a case study of you. . . well. . . I kinda do that with everything lol. Similar to how private you are, you could say it's a defensive mechanism. At times it's almost like I have, not a photographic memory, god, wouldn't that be fun - but I memorize and keep notes about different aspects of each person I interact with. I overthink, and no matter what I can't turn it off - so it's best to make the best out of it. Aurelias once said: : “Of each particular thing, ask: 'What is it in itself, in its own construction?' I suppose that’s something my consciousness took to heart. It's not a tool I use to actively and malicious inflict harm, it's more so something I use to defend myself and learn more about the world. This is where, unfortunately, some can get the idea I have a "holier than though" approach and way of thought, which is why, as you've noticed, I often apologize for my overzealous nature of long, long walls of text - it can seem somewhat cold and mechanical to some people. Nah, I'm just a dork lol.
I agree. Like it or not it's up to George to finish these books or not, and he just wont o-o That's okay, there's tons of other great fantasy series to go and reach out to that are completed.
I'm glad you enjoyed it! What first got him popular I believe was his video on Diablo 3 and why it's so insanely stupid plot wise, coming from a writer it made so much sense and made me giggle. Smart though avoiding the Elden Ring talk! It really is a game you have to experience once for yourself, then becomes very linear aftewards. . . <.<
Wait, I seem to be under the wrong impression - trash taste isn't about anime, when all the clips I see of it. . . is about anime? Huh, I'm confused. Maybe I was marketed too incorrectly. . . well anyhow, thanks for clearing that up! That's really good to know!
Same here. Basically he was just really uninformed of a lot of shit in history about who killed Jesus and stuff. . . I personally as someone who doesn't beleive in that stuff anyway don't care haha.
This is a very good question. That's because even though I have a preferred climate, so to speak, I also believe in NOT living in echo chambers, and think that every viewpoint, even my own, should be contested in a crucible of thought to improve and gain multiple perspectives. Multiple perspectives always benefit an opinion, even if that original opinion is right or wrong in the end, it's always improved.
For an example: I've recently become OBSESSED with this youtube channel I recently discovered called Sarah Z, after I got done watching a video of Evangelion she popped up. She's someone who talks about analytics in media culture, and, I will say something controversial, but is unfortuantely true - I was shocked a woman could speak so profoundly, elegantly, and for an extended period of time about a craft for so long. This isn't to imply women are less intelligent, certainly not, it's just that we know from statistics that men are more interested/inclinded towards tangible concepts and tools, while woman seem more inclinded towards the intangible and people. I also realized this considering 98% of the people I listen to on youtube are male.
She's quite progressive, a feminist, bi, and mixes in a lot of extremely relative information towards someone with my sexuality and mindset along with her scripts and analysis of cultural relevancy, the best part is the mix of the two are extremely fluid and certainly not out of nowhere. The TL:DR is - she kicked ass, and gave me three things I'm still thinking about now. Here's some rough quotes from her.
"Eighty percent of all fanfiction is written by women under the age of 20. This is one of the reasons why fanfiction is looked down on - we associate it and shows like Riverdale, Supernatural, and Sherlock with teenage girls. I'd like to ask my audience, both men and women, a question: why do you think we associate things teenage girls like with stupid and frivolous things?"
Next we have something that legitimately scared me: She pointed out a common trope in media, specifically aimed at young men and woman was the male protagonist growing a connection towards the female love interests because, in his own words, she's: "Not like other girls." Sarah pointed out this is not inherently a problem, until you realize this trope has existed for nearly all of film and storytelling, which are made by men - the undertone is, it implies thematically and narratively that the female character has to be a certain way to approve of the make, thus seek validation, thus make the story move forward - and thus progress. The message is: seeking validation from the opposite sex is good and keeps the world moving foward. I was baffled, stun, and never thought about it that way.
Next up: she pointed out something I believe as well - that debating is not a test of your intelligence, but a test of rhetoric and ability to speak as well as quickly attain information to spar with an opponet. It's not meant to dominate, or beat anyone, it's meant to improve both parties wisdom. I NEVER heard this from anyone else in my life, when I believed it all my life - all from someone who, according to statistics, would barely be interested in this in the first place.
And finally, she proved consistently she has the ability to acknowledge nuance. My favorite showing of this was on her Instagram when she showed her limited edition copy of Death Note - she got a bit of backlash from her feminist cotemporaries, as they believed Death Note had an awful handling of their female characters. While she did agree - she also pointed out that that was not the intended focus of the show, and that it was a discussion on the Death Penalty and is of little consequence towards the thematics of the material.
I say all of this above because it reminded me of this question you asked. While I don't agree with what's popular on mal, how most people engage with each other on MAL, or how people come to their conclusions on MAL - it's still a site dedicated to something I love, full of different perspectives. I want to assimilate, and distill those perspectives onto my own, grafting what is viable, and learning how to melt down and logically deduce what is not viable, and why. I can still further my academic and logical knowledge from being on here. And I can meet awesome people - like you! >:3
Also check out Sarah Z I lowkey simp for her now
Damn you guys are lucky, good thing you tackled it early. Over here it was kind of a shit-show >.> First they said you don't need masks, then they said you do, back and forth and back and forth until everything just skyrocketed into hell lmao.
Well, each one of my friends has problems - I suppose that line is very vague, however, it's true, maybe even a bit more than the average person. We just all kinda found each other and united under our own angst. I suppose you could say, for a Stephen King reference - we're the Loser's Club lmao.
ME TOO! I've always wondered how it works, I think I'd be an amazing dungeon master considering how sadistic I can be in logic equations. <.<
I'm very glad to hear you aren't nervous! I have been told I can be hard to approach due to, uh. . . me being a wall of text online and offline about almost any subject I touch, but I think I'm pretty chill once you get past that. However, this is very curious thing to praise of me, the weird questions part o-o I think I'm picking up on the subtext, I'm sorry if you've met any weird people on here who ask you. . . weird stuff. <.< And frankly I find you very intelligent for not telling me much about you, as someone who works with information let me tell you it's very dangerous. I mean, take it from me, who had someone who went through thousands of my comments to try and. . . cancel me, or something lol. But oh, you think you look similar to your profile picture? O_O I wish I could say the same, I mean, I'm tall. . . but certainly am not adorned with armor.
I think you're pretty cool yourself, Essyn!
Personally my favorite Marvel Movie is Avengers Infinity War - the stakes were insanely high, and it was dark on a level we haven't seen for the movies, and it doesn't have even close to a happy ending. The moments are so shocking and impactful that some people were literally crying in my theater, I admit, I almost shed a tear as well. It's probably going to be the greatest thing they ever make if you ask me.
Well thank you very much! xD What you said about voices are both fortunately and unfortunately true, I think of people and their traits sort of like having stats in a video game, even though you may be bad in one area - you can have traits that try to equalize it as well. For instance, I am absolutely terrible at geography and mathematics outside of statistics - but, I'm a pretty gifted orator and highly skilled logician. There are some areas everyone falters at, so it's important on finding the best parts of you and owning it!!! <3 Hmm, what would you say are the best parts of you if you don't mind me asking?
Hey, there's nothing wrong with a deeper voice xD I think that's cool.
Nah, it's not rude - it can be blunt but no matter what there are some things that some people just can't compromise on with, it's an interesting ethical equation. I mean, would you talk to the nicest person in the world, if they stunk like a sewer. . . ? It can be somewhat of a tricky morality-puzzle, I say just be yourself and try not to force yourself to be someone you're not.
Well, I hope you watch it when you're depressed! >:D Because if not, you'll be even more depressed xD
I think this comes from an author misunderstanding shock that's "earned", granted, that's extremely troubling to figure out and it's one of the reasons I can see why people don't like Madoka Magica, but I'd argue the economy of the story (A.K.A the world building) allows the setting to be quite angsty. I'd say Tokyo Ghoul deserves the same pass - where this doesn't work, imo, is something like Angel Beats, it feels like it was meant to make you feel for the characters, without ever doing anything that makes you care about them. . .
Lol, sad to say but we all get betrayed eventually, sometimes even by ourselves. Ptw means: "plan to watch", btw. <3
Ooof, I don't blame you - the last season is horrible. I'm a pretty big fan of the novels ngl, but being a fan of them is like staying with an abusive husband. George will NEVER conclude the story. I've read the books 5 times, and I've watched the show 9 times because I legit enjoyed them that much, I still dabble in the community and it's sad hearing them talk about future books that we ALL KNOW deep down inside are never coming out. The most he will do is release one more book, and that'll be it. What we do know also took a toll on him is the reaction to the ending of the show, we know the book's ending will be, more or less, roughly equivalent to the show, it's just going to have more and more and more ways to get there, this was already confirmed in an interview where George talked about the ending of the books to the directors. There's a theory that George was so shocked from the backlash that he may be taking even MORE time with the books to change the ending, which opens up a series of complications. Agh.
These books at a time were my life. I would read them so long that I would finish nearly half of a book in an entire sitting, do you know how insane that is? And that's why I know they will never end, George has written himself into a corner with too many plots that aren't even in the show. There are THREE major conspiracies in the books - Greyjoy - Dorne - and the North - Catelyn is brought back as a wraith - Daenreys has a rivalry with someone named Young Griff who will wage war with her called the: "Dance of Dragons", the Boltons are almost certainly werewolves - and it goes on, and on, and on. The fact is this: The man can make amazing worlds that rival Tolkein, George's greatest strength is his world building, but the world is too big for one person. He said in interviews he has literally over 100 editors who constantly check him, his dates in universe, etc, because one small fuck up? It all falls into a ton of plot holes and inconsistencies. I honestly don't blame the man for taking so long, do you know what kind of pressure it is to write one. Page. Of a Song of Ice and Fire? Where that page effects everyone else's story? I say just admit he wont finish it and retire. The only thing that would save it is someone else having the notes of his story so after his death they can finish it. It's sad how people who make such great stories can almost never finish, but it's a reality of expansion - the more your army goes, the more that army needs to be upkept. Basic rule of war.
Hell yeah! I love my boy Jontron despite his shakey political beliefs. And Joseph is amazingly detailed, he's a writer as well so he's someone who goes in depth with a ton of things.
I feel so stupid for not mentioning this - but I'm a big fan of Dunkey as well, but just recently got into him a few weeks ago! He's hilarious! Have you seen his video on Elden Ring? And I've been recommended Trash Taste so much, but there's something about it that I just can't get into? Okay, this is going to sound pretentious af but - I for some reason can't listen to podcasts revolving about anime, because, uh, I don't want anime for the same reason most other people do most of the time. My views of it and my desires for it are so out of touch with others that it's hard for me to have a conversation about people with it. I mean, we can talk about the awesome fights in Naruto, hell yeah - but I'm more interested in its relations to the cycle of samsara, its recurring conflicts, a story about a young boy trying to stop a fascist societies cycle of creating child soldiers, ya know, that kind of stuff? I hate to sound so elitist, I really really do, and I can have casual conversations about anime for sure, but I'm so inquisitive that at times I feel somewhat diverged from the rest of the community, because while I am an anime fan, I'm less of that and more a fan of storytelling and the value fiction can have academically and psychologically as well. I actually talked a bit about this in a blog I made.
I think this is why I gravitate to youtube channels like reinstall paul and Max Derett, while they may not have the highest production value, they're really insightful on how the fiction relates to the psychology. But don't worry, I'm certainly not so stuck up that I don't enjoy hearing or talking about anime at all haha.
Also, I love me my Moistcr1tikal.
Basically, yeah. You may have nightmares but believe it or not, your dreams and nightmares are on your side and trying to communicate something, but as does the waking world watch the dreamer, the dream watches the waking world - and you can't communicate with the primordial-soup of your inner most thoughts because they don't exist, but they can only pretend to - which is why dreams exist, or so some psychoanalyst would argue. Some physicists would argue it's just a release of dopamine and nothing more. I don't exactly subscribe to the theory watch you watch and intake will effect your dreams significantly either. If that was the case. . . I think a few men would have wet dreams every night from the amount of porn they watch. C__C
Funny enough I have a friend named AJ who was an expert lucid-dreamer and could do anything they wanted. It's a cool power, but in the end, they're just dreams haha.
Yikes, that does sound awful - but at least everything else is cheaper there. Oh, that reminds me I should ask - how did covid effect you guys, in uh, wherever ya live?
Life is fair only in its unfairness, so I think anyway lmao. Eh, I have a few friends I can rely on though, and they may not be the best but they've always been there for me.
Hell yeah! My god what is this Dungeons and Dragons roleplay haha~
Well, there's a few ways I can answer this. Let's go with the most objective and fact based one. I was on a comment section of someone else's profile and saw your avatar, as an aesthetic nut myself I found it immensely pleasing, then I saw pun-pun on your profile- . . . and nothing else. This got me interested and considering Pun-pun's acclaim is an admitted enigma to me, I got curious and asked. That's basically it. Superficial as it may sound, your aesthetics got me.
If you would like me to ask why I continue talking to you: it's because that while I found you reserved, you are well spoken, relatable, not easily overwhelmed it seems, and are funny. I hope this isn't too progressive - but during the brief time we've spoken, I've enjoyed that time greatly and some small part of my mind looks forward to the daily to bi-daily message we have. I would like to learn as much about you as you allow me, you're chill and not idealogically posessed like most people on this site. . . that's about it! xD <3
Honestly, I'm not either - I just go because, ya know, it's like our version of "geek water cooler talk". No matter where you go if there's nerds, there are nerds who watch marvel movies, even if they don't like them they know friends who dragged them to it - I am such a person myself. I really enjoyed Guardians of the Galaxy too! It's actually in my top 5 marvel movies. o-o I loved the Bebop esque vibe hahaha.
Well, I myself am forcing me lol. I'm someone who needs to be respected, I can demand respect by dressing more. . . "adult like", you could say. Plus, people say the clothes I wear fits my voice - I haven't told you this, and maybe you could weigh in more if you ever hear it - but people seem to really, really, really like my voice and since i was a teenager I had absolutely no idea why. I've gotten a variety of answers and they're all bordering anathema to me. It's super embarassing to talk on voice chat in games as well. The last time I did it was when I played with an AWFUL group, so bad I had to get on mic to guide them through it, a few minutes after they said my voice was nice and another one said: "You can order me to do whatever you want, daddy!" It was. . . so embarassing I logged off lol. So, while I may not know what people like about it, I can at least try to optimize it.
But don't you worry, I still have quite a few casual things. Ha. Haha. . . *looks over at Evangelion shirt in my closet and Tokyo Ghoul pajamas* C__C
Black Summer is a zombie story, I know, generic - but stay with it. It has some of the best camera work I've ever seen from a netflix original series and is extremely nihlistic to the point I actually don't like watching it for an extended period of time lmao. It's extremely depressing full of moral/logic equations they keep me up at night thinking about what I'd do in their situation. The worst thing about this story is that the virus isn't spread by being bitten - it's spread from just dying in general. The moment you die a timer sets off and soon you become reborn into a flesh-hungry-ghoul. Seeing people break down around you is quite sad, and hits home considering I was a cashier long ago during the pandemic's peak of insanity.
Oof, your "first episode" rule betrayed you, I see! XD I'm very sorry to hear. That is quite a description indeed, when you spoke of emotional manipulation the first thing that came into my head was an anime called: "Charlotte", if you've seen it, I'll talk about it with you. . . if you haven't, know it's quite similar to everything you just said. I'm totally gonna put this on my ptw though.
As for what I watch on Youtube - Well. . . I don't know how to start. I enjoy in depth and critical analysis that are bordering laborious about a variety of topics, like video games, politics, science, anime, and storytelling in general, etc. To this end I enjoy (enjoyed, since he passsed T_T) channels like Totalbiscuit, Joseph Anderson, and am a big fan of an obscure channel called Reinstall Paul. But don't worry, I'm not as old as I let off - I also enjoy channels like Jontron haha. I also love Internet Today which puts out some awesome daily content about, well,it's in the name. Don't get me started on the literal dozens of channels i"m subbed to just for my studies, I'm always trying to add and expierment with the new tricks they've taught me in IT and Computer Science. What about you?
P.S: Since you mentioned Game of Thrones - I'm gonna assume you're a fan too?
Ah, just from a neuroscience book a friend named Cate a long time ago gave me. It's been years since I opened it up but I got bored haha. And, hmm, it's hard to say that running away is "breaking the plot", it's more so an expected throughline the dream may intend, it's when you start thinking out of the box that it starts to punish you. Basically, those types of dreams are trying to explain something to you, and when you try to be clever to escape them, well, they have ways to stop you. C__C
Funny enough, I have a smart tv called Roku and it has a channel called: "Tubi." Essyn, imagine all the bargain bins in the entire world - made it to ONE channel. It has every obscure film and series imaginable, but nothing big. Just low budget odd anime. Low budget odd foreign films. They even had a Batman film I never heard of that was done in Spain in 1943, and was three hours and 43 minutes long. What. The. Fuck? Hahaha. Going through the channel feels like a fever dream and I'm fascinated at all these weird shows.
Indeed it does. That's what makes it so scary! And it never forgets information for each playthrough, the only way to reset its AI is by making a completely new game. And it never cheats too, it has to track you down through the space station and can't just randomly teloport to kill you. The devs really did do a great job!
Awe, I got the impression where you live mental health was kinda affordable. o-o Well, looks like we're screwed by the capitalist dystopia together. Orwell crew! *fist bumps*
*sigh* You have no idea. At one point I just broke down and had to burn a few bridges in the process. The cycle of being used over and over and over again, well, that was a long time ago and that's certainly not the person I am today. I'm quite a bit more perceptive and have to cut people off who take advantage - it's easy to tell at this point. If it's all on you and they don't want to communicate back except in very seldom instances, chances are they're a user and it's time to drop em.
I'm going to check them out later today actually! I'm going to need time to compile my thoughts after seeing the new Dr Strange movie anyway. Ugh, that reminds me, I was so mad. So I'm going to see the movie today, and I avoided spoilers for 5 days. I go to ONE youtube comment section, has a major spoiler in it - less than 4 hours before I see it. Christ on the cross lmao.
Hell yeah! I used to buy lots of clothes like that too, but uh, my fashion kinda. . . doesn't allow that anymore C__C Kinda have to dress like an adult, sad, but the time has come haha.
I'm watching Black Summer right now and while the zombie genre is oversatured I was very impressed with how nihilistic yet minimalist the setting is. Have you heard of it? If you're in the mood to get sad, I suggest it! xD
And what do I see here, you actually watched an anime?! :O What did you think about Ranking? You have to tell me about it! UwU Granted, I have no idea wtf it is, but I still want to know your thoughts haha.
You don't want to imagine it xD Oh god, speaking of dreams, wanna know something funny I just realized last night? Have you ever had a nightmare, like you were being chased by something, or someone, and you tried using a phone, computer, or whatever, to send a message and it didn't work? I learned and it's quite funny to me: your brain is essentially punishing you for figuring out a plot hole in its story, and, like a child, forbids you from using it beacuse you're breaking the rules of its narrative - the mind is so petty lmao.
I pulled a near all nighter myself yesterday, or something akin to it. I slept at 9pm, woke up at 1am, and stayed up till 5am. You begin watching the weirdest things at the hour because you're so bored. I watched a great Kamen Rider movie called Mechanical Violator Hokaider. . . not the most appealing title and doesn't translate well, but it was a great movie, 4/5 on my book. Then I watched a few episodes of a Japanese show called RE:mind, while not exactly a critical darling I thought it was really interesting. Anyhow, what's your sleed schedule like?
Oh yeah, the AI for alien isolation is horrifying and believe it or not is studied in computer science in some colleges. Basically it's so good because it acts like a real animal and companion with you throughout the game that hunts you, and it barely acts like a video game creature at all. The devs gave the classic example of this: If you're hiding from the alien, and throw a flare somewhere, the alien will immediate chase it - try that enough, you may throw a flare, and the alien will just look at it - another time you try this late into the game, it wont just not follow the flare - but will track the location it came from using the smoke trail - leading right to you. It's possibly the scariest horror game ever made if you ask me, especially because for that playthrough it never forgets. Some particularly horrible and unfortunate players have gotten stuck in a death loop over and over again because it just keeps out smarting them lmao.
Hmm, I don't see it either I think O.o Personally, I get vibes of you being like Yuuki Nagato from Haruhi Suzumiya haha. ^^
But awe, Grimmer? Thanks, that means quite a lot to me and I can actually see it too, I never thought about it that way xD
Well hey, you keep managing! I think therapy is pretty cheap over there? If I'm wrong though, pardon me for overstepping, but it's always good to talk to somoene every now and then UwU I have a lot of people that think of me as a therapist, but I keep telling them that's not right for a variety of reasons C__C I just am good with talking to people, not someone trained in a varierty of therapy. . . <.<
And maybe I'll listen to some shoegaze bands you like! Do you have any you would?
Speaking about classic music again: ya know as a kid, and now, I had a strong hatred from rap music in my area. It made me sick to my stomach, ya know? It was so full of mysognistic principles, the same dribble on constant repeat - money - bitches - cars - drugs - money - bitches - cars - drugs - it bordering tortured me at the time and I promised one day, when I grow up, I would take revenge by blasting my OWN music in my OWN car so other people would know what it's like. To this day, I blast my classical and opera and love it uwu Do you know how many weird looks I get? My favorite to play is this:
I actually hear the same thing every time I ask someone about it! They say they enjoy it more than the anime but just can't put their finger on it for a extremely strong reason. I really want to give it a try ;-; Do you have physical copies? Oh! That's another thing, do you collect merch at all?
I concede - you have a point. Take Mark Zuckerberg for instance - he was someone who got into trouble and was a cunt frankly. He was bordering mysgonistic, essentially stole the idea of facebook from someone he was interning for, but made it better - hacked into Harvard's security and was able to manipulate the source code for not just the website, but all computer's in the building, and when being punished said in his own words: "Are you punishing me for showing you the flaws of your own security? If anything, you should be paying me to find more." And finally, probably the most horrible thing he ever did - he betrayed his best, childhood friend who he helped make facebook with - and would reduce his paycheck to 25% of his original earnings because he just wanted more money. He was and possibly still is a horrible person. . . but hey, he made something great and the foundations of social networks. o-o That's insane.
Yeah, screw those things - I wish we could just get some flamethrowers and light em all up lmao. I had a dream I was forced to eat a moth. . . it was horrifying.
Well I think that makes more sense xD Since you're like, controlling the character. This is why some people can't play Alien Isolation, have you heard about it? It made one kid almost have a full on heart panic from his heart rate being so frantic.
Eh, maybe I've watched a bit too much anime lmao. Oh wait, that's another thing - have you ever got called an anime character by someone before? Someone once said I have the social skills of Light, but the mind of L <.<
Wow, it goes to such an extent that it can forget stuff? That's interesting. That tells me it's trying to repress for a reason. o-o Have you ever had such outbursts? O.o
I admit it's a really solid show! And I can't really think of any arcs that disappointed me in any respect C__C If anything, I kinda wish we got more.
Oh god, I feel so embarassed. Aghhhhhh lmao.
Oh, you're a fan too? I love Marilyn Manson myself, I've written a thesis about nearly every album he's made lmao. My favorites are The Pale Emperor and Holywood, Antichrist Superstar is awesome though. But wow, maybe I really do have niche tastes o-o I thought mine were pretty basic.
Awe don't worry about it, I get message haha.
Recently, I did a panel about how anime could in theory be used in academia by noting five of them. The first was basically everything made by Satoshi Kon - Second was Neon Genesis Evangelion, the 3rd was Monster. I truly do love it, I consider it and Death Note anime's answer to Crime and Punishment. However, I ashamed that I've never read the source material but watched the anime 4 times lmao. I really love how it debates the ethics of a weight of a human life, and the ethical implications of trying to keep someone alive who is, just, well, a dick. What do you like the most about Monster?
I see! Well yeah, if you have any other questions or anything just shoot -it's weird how my best and worst skill isn't having an answer, but actually having one. . .
That smile tells me something dark in beneath the surface, I wont pry haha.
Oh, that? Pfft. *gets giant ass list out* Well let's see the trauma list here - I was raised with a single mother who I love, did and does her absolute best but due to her job didn't get to see her or hang out much - was molested by my father and my mind for years blocked out the trauma to cope with it - was abused by my mother's boyfriends which gave me sadistic urges and a burning desire to destroy the thing that harmed me, so I trained for years, and years to reach almost peak human condition and mastered 5 martial arts just so nobody could ever physically harm me again - first girlfriend was the only person I could believe could ever accept me, then cheated on me - ewp, sorry if that's dark lol let's drop that list for now. Like I said, uh, talking about this stuff objectively doesn't really bother me and just helps me see how far I've come. Frankly, I could have turned into a horrible, horrible person if just the right variables came into place, but once I realized a few more things about myself my life turned around. Anyhow, if that's overwhelming I'm sorry haha. I overall don't really care about the past and just try to study it from a scientific point of view.
Yeah, we're a weird species. Often times we kill what we love, I think it's something that makes us uniquely human, we seem to be the only biological creature that exists in contradiction. Free will is indeed something strange. I don't really have much guilt about it since I believe it's just a byproduct of the human condition, that contradiction, and that's okay. I mean, we love awesome villains in anime, but we wouldn't want them in real life, right? I think it's best to, on occassion, accept contradiction if it isn't non-beneficial. As someone who hunts though, I can see why people find slaughter cruel. Oddly enough I share the same opinion, which is why I don't enjoy buying meat from the grocerry store and do everything in my power not to ^^
Wait, wait, dragonflies bite?! My god. . . well, since you admitted one fear of insects, I'll admit another. If you read my profile, you may see I dislike butterflies. . . that's from a certain Spongebob Episode called: "Wormy." Google that episode, and see what pops up. . . never show that face to me btw, please, it will literally make me have a panic attack lmao. I also despite moths as well, spider crew. United under the arachnid.
You did?! That's so cool lmao. Another funny thing is that in WW2, during the invasion of Poland, they used cavarly to try and run around tanks to make them use all their ammo, then one rider would jump off the horse and plant a bomb on the tank. Crazy stuff.
I do admit I have to give presentations at my loca library for stuff, and I'm on the library's instagram, clips of me and stuff, and it makes me cringe haha. They have tried forever to have me make one but I just refuse to do it! >_<
To be fair, clowns are scary, even before the clown killers did anyone really like them? But woah, look at all you bold being the only one who doesn't flinch watching them. A weird thing about me is I can watch any horror movie without flinching except found footage movies, they feel so weird, and intimate, that it feels like I'm actually there. Agh! >_< Letterboxed is basically myanimelist but for movies lol.
"Well I don't believe either that someone should be completely get outcasted for being a bit crazy. " I agree! Because then I'd be outcasted a long time ago C__C And as an extrovert I enjoy interaction. . . However, I can relate to what you said a lot :/ About being gullibale and stuff, when I was was younger I was the same way and got used a lot. Whenever I got fed up I would just go balistic and unleash a monster, it took me a while to realize, but that monster wasn't trying to hurt me, it was trying to help me stand up to myself. I held that monster's hand, saw it was my own, and never let go.
Well. . . statistically, most crazy people indeed don't believe they're crazy - but for a second opinion, you're quite sane to me lol.
Oof, that is a very good show, Mr. Robot I mean - and while I have seen it, so still good try - what did you like about it? >:3 You didn't miss much at all no C__C Monster of the week shows are so weird, right? It's like 80% of the episodes are filler until you get to the ones that introduce new characters, or big story arcs. In theory, you could skip most of them O.o It's how TV was at the time.
What?! How lame could they be haha!
Thats not a bad show you got going on there. I've dabbled in shoegaze and rock myself, but I can't say i'm as well-versed as you, but we do share a fondness for The Killers and Tame Impala.
For me, I love classical music, opera, jazz, swing music, math-rock, witch house, alternative rock, and classical rock xD. I guess you could say my favorite bands and artist are are: Marilyn Manson - David Bowie - Purity Ring - Khai Dreams - This Town Needs Guns - Sadness - Machine Girl - Carpenter Brut - Claude Debussy - Queen - Sparhawks - John Coltrane - Jaymay - Gregory and The Hawk - Sianver - Paramore - ConsciousThoughts - Mouse on the Keys - and Dance with the Dead. Do you use spotify? :O
I also want to apologize if that was overwhelming! Believe it or not, I'm trying to work on how long the things I say actually are, and it's. . . a trying and failing process trying to condense it down. Don't feel silly, I'm the one that feels silly for going on so much! Haha. And honestly, there's no "level" you should try to achieve with anyone, you should focus on reaching your own levels based around your own self! I'm just a guy who talks a lot lol. But I will give you this: yeah I'm pretty passionate about stuff C__C
Yeah, it's pretty common knowledge to us now that that's how it works -those at the time before though weren't inclied to such thoughts. >.> But narccistic parents? Yikes, I'm surprised your turned out so sweet. Do you ever miss your parents?
I know, right? Freud was a very weird man lmao. In regards to the Shadow I want to point out and think I didn't do well before, that Jung didn't believe the Shadow was evil, not at all - he believed just like the Persona if not controlled it can be self destructive, in fact, he argued that one's Persona is perhaps even more dangerous because the Shadow, if left unchecked, breeds arrogance - but arrogance can be a good thing in some respect, Jung believed it was better to be arrogant and eventually put in check by a force that could stop you, thus being humbled, than being posessed by your Persona, which would make you basically stagnant and submissive to anything, it's basically comparing Chaos to Stagnation.
But, anyway, the point is both are bad if you don't acknowledge them. I think I resonate so much with Jung's theories in particularly because I've experienced almost everything he's talked about. For a great deal of my life I was full of anger and being at conflict with myself because, shocker I like breaking things. A lot. I love systematically breaking something down in an ingenius way, I love competition, I love high energy - this got me into a lot of fights at school, worse off, I didn't even acknowledge why it was happening and wanted to pretend I was an entirely good person, my entire "Pyramid" was at war with itself, and my Kingdom was burning. It wasn't I acknowledged the trauma that happened to me, and that I like breaking stuff that I could focus it into something meaningful. I got good at countering viruses and destroying them, I got to be one of the elites at my jiu jitsu gym in just a few years, I got to have high grades at school beacuse man I just love analyzing and figuring out stuff logistically. That's something you can do when you learn your Persona, your Shadow, and let them acknowledge who you truly are.
Uncle Iroh from avatar once said: "It's time to start asking the big questions. Who are you and what do you want?" He's a pretty Jungian character himself. But nope! Going to slow down haha.
Awe don't sweat it, I don't even know how practical such information would be in your day-to-day life anyway so if you're not inclinded to there's not much of a reason to have a extremely firm grasp of it. I will say that if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask!
Eh, I love animals - love eating them too. What a strange juxtaposotion. I'll tell you something else, despite how open I am, this one is actually embarassing even to me: I hate going to the zoo and aquarium. Don't get me wrong, I love the animals. . . but looking at them makes me so hungry lmao. I go: "Man, I wonder how that bison tastes? Could make some damn good jerky out of them all salted and cured." Ugh. Do you like the zoo at all?
" I like spiders too tho. "
I've never met anyone else who likes spiders tbh. I'm glad! When someone hates spiders, I remind them that if scientist suspect if arachnids didn't evolve, dragonflies would still be the size of keyboards and skateboards. . . . maybe even bigger? Point is if you hate bugs, appreciate spiders. That's so cute though! Did you know the Slavics for the longest time wanted to tame bears as mounts and cavarly? It took them nealy 10 thousand deaths to, finally, give the bloody hell up haha. Man is a funny species. He looks at an elephant and goes: "Let's ride that." Lol.
You're correct, it's also used for hookups, in fact, perhaps even mostly for hook ups. . . here's the problem once again" It never says this. And once again since the gender on dating apps are so skewed it can unfortunately have men kill themselves out of grief when numbers are sytematically against you. Did you know the alogoritm for dating sites is so skewed and fierce that people will even make, not fake, but duplicate accounts? *sigh* How sad. And like, don't get me wrong, I use social media too - I use youtube to watch videos, I use mal, and I use my email - but I just can't touch anything else, and explaining to my friends why is so annoying because, well, they just don't get it. And I can't blame them honestly, all that stuff is designed for you to think less critically and that's someone's right. But I think if you don't use your brain regularly it just becomes mush.
All I'm going to say is: Orwell was right.
Wait, wait, you watched IT, and all those other films without being scared or scarred? How old were you at the time again lmao? God, you made me remember how much I love The Thing. Even though it's not my favorite horror movie, I truly do believe it's the best horror movie ever made because the characters aren't idiots, make all the smart logistical and logical choices, but still get outsmarted. It's an amazing screenplay. Say, do you have a letterboxed btw?
You too? I guess we're both a couple of psycho-magnets. My friend, Quincy, always had a theory for why so many "unstable" people are drawn to me, it sounded silly years ago, but I slowly start to believe it just a little. Basically, they said that I'm so open, accepting, curious, and will listen to basically anyone no matter what they say or believe that I make them feel comfortable being crazy when normal it would make them a walking pariahah. Maybe she was right all along. . . I've had 3 stalkers before, it's not a fun experience lmao.
About this person, indeed, it was very curious. I wrote a few pages back explaining that, granted, some of these things indeed are correct and are character flaws of mine, but reminded them this is a portfolio of a person that existed several years ago. . . a person I no longer am mostly lmao. It was curiuos seeing someone so passionate, but I also suggested they direct the passion towards something with more immediate impact on their life. . . rather than a black guy across the world. I personally think they were insecure and used me as a focal point for this that was bottled for years, perhaps projection? Hell if I know myself. But, I admit, this is one of the reasons I enjoy life day to day. Who knows what crazy stuff is going to happen to you?
I very much appreciate your words. I'm glad we continue to talk! Ya know, sometimes I think I say discouraging things on ocassion about myself to keep my ego and passions in check. If I don't, I'm worried sometimes I'll just engulf everything around me with sheer zeal. You've already seen a bit of that before with my walls of text back there C__C There's a thin line between confidence and arrogance, I always try to stay on the other side haha.
God, I feel so embarassed, I said "interests" 3 times without any puncuation. Ugh. . . anyhow, yeah, it's super interesting! It's a new feature MAL has similar to letterboxed where you can make a list of anime and manga that someone else can look at, it's good for giving recommendations and is really fun. Personally, I'm trying to get into and look at more recent anime that have come out as well as those that have slipped through the cracks over the year. I consider myself someone well versed in the medium, as well as someone who is not afraid to say the golden age for anime is dead, and at this rate will stay dead for a very long time - but if I want to articulate my points well, I'm going to have to have valid arguments supported by evidence, I may know the past extensively well, but I'm still letting the future of anime, even if dull, slip by. So I'm doing my best to watch and give them a shot! . . . even if I don't like most of them.
I see. Ya know, if you have any recommendations for me too I'd love to hear them! I got done watching Merlin and it left a very, very sour taste in my mouth. =.=
(P.S: Nah, I make no illusions about this nation, when it has good things I'll say it, when it has bad things I'll say it lmao.)
(Oh. P.S . . S? Lol: Sorry that I made you dizzy T_T)
What kind of music do you like? There's gotta be something out there you enjoy >:D And do you like going to the movie theaters? I'm going to see the new Dr. Strange movie monday and can't wait!